After making sure I didn’t leave anything behind, I went out of my bedroom. Wore a pair of shoes, greeted my flatmate, and went downstairs. Just like the other times, I missed my bus today. 91 to Trafalgar Square. Does not happen often, though, only sometimes. Especially when I’m in a rush. It left the stop right after I arrived.

Of course I swore. If only I didn’t spend my time staring blankly across my bedroom, thinking if I was missing something, maybe I could hop on the bus just in time. If only I showered fast enough, or if only I didn’t take a freaking twenty minutes just to choose which pair of outfits I want to wear today.

Just when I decided to sit and wait; I realised I forgot to bring my handphone.

I ran to my flat. Thank God, I missed the bus.

Excuse me while I’m pondering my daily mundanities.

It is true that maybe we have to stop wishing to change things in the past and ruminating with ‘if only’s. What do we know, actually? Our knowledge would not be broad enough to understand an intricate yet huge timeline that is life, nor we have it in control.

It sucks to miss your bus and get left behind and have to wait for another eight minutes under a scorching sun. It sucks to feel like you didn’t move fast enough or think smart enough. It sucks to feel like you didn’t work hard enough and people around you seem like they had it all figured out. But what do we know, actually? What do we know about scenarios the universe has in store for us?

What if I got on the bus and totally forgot my phone after I reached five stops? First, damn. I don’t want to spend my time turning back all the way to my flat in this weather. Second, I have to pay for another route? With the increased fare caused by the 2022 recession? God forbade all these things happened to me by keeping me away to get on that bus.

And that’s how life works, too.

Maybe I walked sloooowly however much I tried to run, and I missed many opportunities and what could be’s along the way. But maybe I need to pick up something I have left accidentally before I hop on another opportunity. Another 91 to Trafalgar Square.

“Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know.” (QS. 2:216)